Ice Bath changed me!!

Going to Rishikesh for 15 days and working from there was a dream all along. I had been there for short trips and fell in love with the place. Now that I was going to be there for a while, I wanted to really live a slow conscious life, but as someone who lives in Delhi, it wasn’t all that easy!!

When I got to know about the Ice Bath and Breathwork event happening on full moon, I was instantly hooked to it (being a moon lover). There was no cold feet before the event, no resistance to do it, maybe because I hadn’t really realized what I was going for, with all the work and newness of city..

Having gotten into that space, I was blanketed with the feeling of comfort, seeing people from all around the world, sharing their journeys and what brings them to trying these two difficult things- Breathwork and Ice Bath. I was feeling excited at this point, secretly hoping that this another step in my journey of healing will give me the solution to all my anxiety and indecisiveness, and give me the push I want in my life.

P.S. This is a late realization for me after attending tons of healing and personal development events that no event will really give you that miracle. (READ: YOU HAVE TO GIVE THAT MIRACLE TO YOURSELF)

Having done breathwork, now was the time to do ice bath. It was supposed to happen turn by turn with everyone witnessing you getting into that tub of ice water. Okay, now I started feeling just a little nervous.

We all formed a circle around this cute tub which was being filled with tons of ice and covered with roses. Looked beautiful no doubt, but it wasn’t feeling so beautiful in the moment..

I was one of the initial ones to volunteer to go and take ice bath because I knew better than to do it in the later half. Yes, there’s more fear, but there’s more excitement too when you do it in the beginning.

The facilitator warned us that going in ice water may bring up anything: unprocessed traumas, fear, any feeling you may have suppressed/repressed. I was legit scared at this point.

Holding hands of the facilitator I dipped my feet in the tub full of ice water. It was just knee dip at this point and didn’t feel the most challenging (also because it was summer time, and summers are cruel in the month of June). Few seconds in and my facilitator asked me to sit inside the tub so that I am chest deep in water. I went further inside by sitting in that tub and that’s when it started getting uncomfortable, challenging, too cold to bear, but it was still tolerable.

This is just the first 15-20 seconds I described but the feelings were expansive. Now, the facilitator asked me to go deeper inside the water and drench my shoulders in it. This was the point it started getting scary. Well, it was just the start. This is the point it started getting intolerable and freezing cold where the body felt like it was burning. It’s hard to give words to that feeling!

And then came the most challenging part. He asked me to now close my eyes. I looked at him with fear, anxiety, insecurity and helplessness in my eyes. Ahh, I closed my eyes and that was the moment I felt I won’t make out of it, I will be dead in here and had the urge to just bounce out of the water. A lot of emotions came on surface and the crippling fear I otherwise experience in my life was there in full intensity.

At this point, I just started to focus on my breath, coming in and going out, coming in and going out, and it started to feel better. (Thanks to Vipassana)

Guess what, this was the moment he asked me to open my eyes and come back up, step out of the water!!

I stood up not knowing how I was feeling, was it gratitude of making out of it, adrenaline rush for having done something so huge, relief of coming out, or the uncomfortable bodily sensations? God knows how I felt in that moment.

I had weird prickly sensations all over my body just when I came out of water. But as and when time passed, I started feeling more grounded and centered in myself. I didn’t have the feeling of “oh my god, I did something huge”, calmness washed over my being.

We were all supposed to sit together in the garden after that, do some reflective activities, be in the safe space we 20 people created for each other.

That night, I realized that my biggest fear of losing people to death isn’t only about other people, it is my own fear of death, which makes me scared and jumpy generally. It was a big realization for me.

I sure lived a life in those 2 minutes, experiencing the coldest and hottest of emotions in that ice cold water!

Maybe that’s the reward of challenging yourself in a safe space. This extraordinary journey taught me that true healing cannot be found in external events or miracles; it resides within each of us. Ice baths, like life’s challenges, beckon us to embrace the discomfort and confront our fears, ultimately guiding us toward growth and transformation.