Special day calls for a special game

This game was a special one! The passion and will to win this one was way more than any other.

And here comes the most cliche filmy story behind it :p

This game started with my whole team including me playing really bad, all of us out of form. And guess what, the other team was playing amazingly well, scoring goal one after another.

So of course I was disappointed in myself for not playing well. Okay, enough Kashika, you gotta buck up now is what I told myself. I was a little disappointed in myself already and knew that I can push myself to do better.

But, because disappointment wasn't enough, one of my team- mates decided to piss me off further. Or I shall say, I got pissed off (practicing what I preach- taking responsibility of my emotions ). This person was our goalie, and I was playing centre back, 'the last man', or let's say, 'last woman'.

So naturally, he was guiding the team's game, calling and playing (the last part is questionable though). And not so naturally, imposing his suggestions on me because I was playing as the last defender.

"Do this, be here, don't come back anymore" - his voice was pissing me further and I was getting more and more angry. We were losing anyway.

Made 4-5 wrong passes too, which led the opposite team to score beautifully. But this time, I didn't lose my heart over it. I was okay making those mistakes and learning from them.

Back to my aggressiveness in the game :p (In case you don't know already, I play very fiercely and passionately, but probably the first time feeling so aggressive). I was angry and pissed yes, but now that I reflect back on my game, I only used this aggression to play better.

I was tackling intensely, at the same time, ensuring that the other person doesn't get hurt. Ended up fouling too, which is also when I brought myself in check and told myself internally to not let anger take the better of me.

I used my aggression in the game, pumped my team up to score and win, and we did win in the end. From losing to winning, told you it's a filmy story. �� I ran more than I do in any other game because I was so keen on scoring today (Scoring is not my best skill, usually I limit myself to defending my goal- yes it's a mental block that I am working on).

But well, this blog is not about how we won, but what I realized about my game today. I hated for my goalkeeper to govern my game when he himself was not doing a good job at playing.

One, there was absence of self awareness in him (trust me, he didn't have a friggin idea what he was doing wrong and was subtly blaming me for the goals). And second, he felt entitled to govern my game.

These are the 2 things that tick me off about people even off the ptch:

1. No awareness about yourself

2. Feeling the right to tell others what's right or wrong

The other thing I learned was anger/aggression isn't something to be looked down upon. All you got to do is learn to channelize it well. And I do talk about it a lot (every feeling is okay and natural), but it was the first time that I experienced such anger and aggression because this isn't something that comes up for me off the pitch often.

So yes, when I say football helps me face myself head on, it helps me understand myself better, explore the parts of me I never knew existed and helps me acknowledge them & learn from them.